Hope you enjoyed the last episode of "The ladies man". Unfortunately there are more stories of when things have gone terribly wrong. Who would of thought that so many fuck ups could happen when all you want to do is share your WANG with the world. Not sure im going to get into much detail with the next few but you will have some idea just how funny and wrong it all got for a variety of reasons. Lets start off with an innocent trip to the movies.....
I rolled up at a metropolitan cinema in melbourne. Seemed like a pretty easy one I had today, approx 27 years old, just broke with boyfiend and wanted some company.. this is an easy target. I found out what the ex had done and then I plan my attack around that. Its easy to say what the girl whats to hear in this situation. I rolled up to the movies and i was looking for a girl in a denim skirt and a white shirt. I found her and it all looked good from the rear..hehe, Im going to get me some BOOOOOTY!!! She turned and I was taken back a bit. Something was a little strange, something just wasnt sitting right... It was the bloody wig she was wearing!!! Thats right groovers, she was bald baby. Now i know we all like our girls bald, but thats generally when you are visiting Beaverville. It wasnt even a good wig, I had to make a decision now. Can I see myself boning Ms Bald Australia here today??? i sat thru the movie, cant even remember what it was, I was in some serious thought time. I decided afterwards that i couldnt do it, but there was nothing stopping here giving me a blow-job before i told her my decision. So in a park close to the shopping complex i get a blowie from her. Felt like i was in a circus. All I need now is a one legged, blonde midget virgin that loves gobbling goo and spitting it through her ears I'll be fine. Thats the end of that story for this week. Many many more to come, so stay tuned till the next time.
Bye for now
Leon

(ps. remember to always use protection when boning a chick. You can never be too sure these days. I recommend Ray bans. Not only are you protected you look cool if the Fuzz catch you out doing the nasty with the next door neighbours kid. Also when the chick looks for that look of love and caring in your eyes rite before you fill her gob with goo, she wont see shit, which is funny coz if you goo correctly you should take her eyes out anyways. A great idea coz then before she has wiped it all off to see again you have fled the scene. You too can be like Leon, it just takes takes practice a will to want to run more numbers than a dodgy bookie!)

WHEN THINGS GO WRONG!!!!

Welcome all to a segment that we havent touched on yet. Not always do things go to plan like in the other stories, sometimes things can go terribly wrong. Even the best planned events can turn for the worse and today Im here to share some of those experiences with you all. Shall we let the game begin groovers.

One that comes to mind was from early on in my career to swoon the ladies. I was thinking i was on a roll and was getting fluff more than any decent man should. I was talking to a girl on the net and then on the phone. All going well, she was feeling herself up while she talked to me and I thought i needed that in my sack, or on my sack real soon. One thing led to another, photo was given and it was time to meet. All looked great for a nice night of licking and dicking. I was supposed to meet her at a certain restruant in Lygon St. I chose it for a couple of reasons. Firstly i was familiar with the place, secondly I wanted an outdoor table, thirdly the toilets are in side towards the back which was close to a side exit. Have to cover all bases. I sat at the table and waited. She was on time and looked nothing like the photo she sent, bad start. We got chatting and i was knocking down a few brews, she wasnt looking any better to me still. I persisted but i would of rather knocked up a 3 legged dog on heat. She continued to give me hell purely by breathing. Time for action now, I got up, headed for the toilet, even told her I would bring a drink back. Off i went. as I waked through the place i turned and she was looking at me, this was going to be tough. I headed for a waiter and told him that I wanted a drink sent out. I pointed at the table, smiled and she smiled back. At this point she looked out to the road. I escaoed out the door. I headed for the car park below like my pants were on fire. The great escape was on. I got to my car having a good laugh but I wasnt finished with this nutter quite yet. I headed out of the car park and decided to do a drive-by. Nasty but she wasnt nice at all. As I approached the restruarant I decided the best bet was to wind the window down, bip and wave to her. I was laughing my arse off now. Not only did she look like she wanted to kill me I had left her with a $45 bill. There you go mole, you should of sent the correct pic and then maybe you could of had a chance. Loser number 1.

Next is a classic that involved some serious attempt at a date but it all turned nasty. I met this chic at a pool hall and thought id give the dating thing a shot. She seemed ok on the nite and i thought id ask her out. All good on the phone so we headed out for dinner. Well the conversation was just shit to say the least. She tried hard, fuck even i put in some effort to get through it. All was lost, we ended up at a pokies place (god help me now) and she was keen to continue but I wasnt going to have any of it. Something was weird about her. I needed to get out of this one. i was doing the cold shoulder as nice as possible. She knew but she was persistant. She offered me head in the car park. I knocked it back. She offered sex , I knocked her back again and said i woud drive her home. She wasnt happy at all. All the way home she screamed at me, the fucking phsyco!!! This trip couldnt go quick enough. I was called everything under the sun. We got to her place and she hopped out of my car, Im safe Im thinking... how wrong i was. She proceeded to kick the door of my car in. Thats it, Im fucking going to rip this bitches head clean off. What a NUT! I got out of my car and she starts screaming at me. Fuck this, Im going. before she does something stupid, or I do. I get home, had to laugh and told my housemate. Next thing my phone beeps, its her. the message was a shocker, spraying me for everything I had done. These messages continued for the next 4.5 hours. Finishing at 3am. This girl had lost it and needed a good shag but it wasnt coming from me. Imagine if I had fucked her and then left, she would been worse. If thats possible. That one I will never forget. If anyone wants her number just contact me, you'll have a ball... hehe.

There are more but you'll have to wait till next time.

Leon lives and doesnt date no more. I shag, root, fuck, slam, invade, intrude!!! I slap arse and love it.

They need it, I am there, its all about timing xxoo